If you’ve experienced trauma, particularly in relationships, boundaries may feel confusing. Maybe you struggle to say no, often put others’ needs ahead of your own, or feel guilty for taking space. Or perhaps you find it easier to shut people out completely.
These patterns aren’t flaws - they’re adaptations to protect yourself. But over time, they can get in the way of meaningful connection. Learning to set healthy boundaries is a powerful part of trauma healing.
What Are Healthy Boundaries?
Boundaries are the limits we set to protect our physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing. They help us feel safe, respected, and connected, without losing ourselves.
Healthy boundaries can sound like:
“I need time to think about that.”
“I can’t take that on right now.”
“I feel uncomfortable when that happens.”
“I need some space, but I still care.”
Boundaries are not about pushing people away. They’re about protecting what matters to you - including your energy, your peace, and your healing.
Why Trauma Makes Boundaries Difficult
If you grew up in an environment where your needs were ignored, dismissed, or punished, it makes sense that boundaries feel risky. You may have learned that saying no leads to rejection, conflict, or abandonment. Or you might not even know what your needs are anymore.
Part of trauma recovery is learning that:
Your needs matter
You’re allowed to protect your energy
You can say no without being unkind
Boundaries create safety, not distance
How Therapy Can Help
In therapy, we explore your relationship with boundaries at your own pace. Together, we might look at:
What your current boundaries are (or aren’t)
How early relationships shaped your patterns
Where you feel safe asserting yourself
How to practise new responses in small, manageable ways
Setting boundaries is like building a new muscle—it takes time, patience, and practice.
Boundaries Make Space for Real Connection
When you honour your own needs, you show up in relationships more authentically. Boundaries aren’t about control or disconnection—they're the foundation for healthy, balanced connection.
And the more you practise, the more natural it becomes.